Lord, I found my passions going the way of the earth. Earthy desires, like those of the men of the earth, conspire to make me heavy towards you. Earthly attachments, earthy longings, earthward attractions still show themselves in my natural mien. I seem to battle, some of the time, with a force of gravity pulling me towards earth’s activities and earth’s concerns and earth’s matters. When Lord, would I actually be free to soar the realms above? Beyond sinful lusts and worldliness, I found a general mental earthwardness that makes me yet more comfortable with the men of the earth than with the eternal beings above.
Why is it that I prefer to talk with men than to commune with God! Why do I feel it an uphill to go plunge in the labour of prayer and intercession for the things of Thy kingdom? Why am I more relaxed, capable of consuming precious hours in the fraternity of humans than to spend a mere day alone with God? Why should I rather more easily plunge into hours of discussion with my wife, chatting with my brethren, disciples and men than to sit alone and have HIM come pour into my soul instead?
Why do I prefer Counselling to Communion? Teaching to Meditating on the Word? Ministry to Devotion? Why should earthly labour, even if for God, seem to be the sweeter than being with Him? Am I not earthy, earthly and earthward?
Earthly labour, earthy chores, earthly concerns, earthy cares . . . legitimate, not even sinful, seem to more easily carry the day to the detriment of returning and resting in the holy presence. Why do I go through the endless cycle of running out and running in, burning out and coming back for refill? Why do I prefer to be refreshed than to remain ever fresh? I detest this earthwardness! Lord please break its hold over me! It was David the King that cried . . .
Psalms 119:5-6 … “O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!
Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments.”
O that my heart was pre-conditioned to seek Thy face! O that my reins would evermore long for Thy presence! O that my mind, my thoughts and imaginations are perpetually fixed on Thee! And my words, my deed, my daily traffic, all completely centred on You.
While I am bound in this earthly, earthy and earthward tabernacle, Lord, may I yet daily relish the secret ecstasy of Divine communion. May I possess as my permanent possession, the joy of living, moving and having my being in you. Let the rejoicing of my heart, the merriment of my soul and the excitement of my laughter be of finding You and feeling You in the centre of my bosom. Alas… I discover a new deliverance at last.
Psalms 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”